Romantic Dating Site Message

Dating Site Words to Cherish

I was reading through my messages on some shitty dating site that's populated with nothing but fake profiles and scammers(okay, they all are) and came across this remarkable opening message.  I have no clue who it is, only that it's allegedly a woman from Accra, Ghana.  I Googled the first line of it and found it plastered all over every trailer park dating site on the Internet so I thought I would share it here.  I hope you enjoy it.  I didn't.  It made me want to drink a jug of bleach.

Hello

How are you and your fellow?

I'm the gentle warm breeze you feel on the back of your neck as you walk from your home.

I'm the elusive shadow you just can't make out, you know I'm there each and every moment of your day and night.

I'm the gentle hug and smile that greets you as you arrive in dreamland each night.

I'm the throes of passion for which you've cried so many times.

I'm the last passionate kiss you feel upon your lips before you awake to a bright new day.

I'm sometimes with you in your day dreams, I'm that warm fuzzy feeling deep inside, also that sudden burst of happiness you feel in your very soul.

I've been with you more times than you have been alone. I've been with you at your first heartbreak and I was that tear drop that followed.

Come, join me at long last, for I am no longer the shadow of your Dreams nor a ghost from the past, I'm the passion and desires which burns within your very soul.

These flames of passion that are growing with each passing day will guide you to my world of happiness.

The arms of love are about to embrace you and all the ghosts of passed loves will flow together within the depths of your heart to a whole, complete, wonderful lover and your best friend.

This my friend, is who/what I'm about! Good luck!

I hope you like it,and have a great day much respect to you

I replied to the woman and told her that her sentiments gave me painful cramps in my colon.