ALONA VLASENKO - ukrainka85@inbox.ru - Nuclear Ukraine Scam

Ukraine has become a scam baiter's paradise.  Okay, it always has been but it just keeps getting worse and worse, or better depending on how you view it.  Let's reel in the line and see what's on the hook today.

The lovely Alona Vlasenko contacted me with the usual crap.  You know, the usual "I don't like Ukrainian men", "I cook good for you !!", etc, etc.  What's the deal with this fascination for offering to cook all the time?  Who cares?  They send these fake glamour shots and I'm supposed to imagine them walking around the kitchen in an evening gown?  I guess I wouldn't mind, but I would think it's kind of messy for the gown.

So, I had a little extra fun with Alona using the backdrop of the current crisis in Ukraine.  This scam was going to be the typical "interpreter fee" ruse but I never let it get that far since I identified the woman in her first photo so new she was fake from the first letter and pushed the money grab myself before she had a chance to ask.  I'm going to include one of my responses which I usually don't do.  With no further ado, let's meet Alona:


From: ukrainka85@inbox.ru

Letter 1:
Hello dear xxxxxxx!!!  
I  hope  you  remember  from me from the dating site! You left me your email address there!!!! My real name is Alona . My intentions are 100% true  !  I  am  disappointed with Ukrainian guys, so I have decided to find man from abroad! I want to fall in love and to feel loved! I hope that I am not wasting my time and there is a chance to find decent man in  net..... 

You  seem to be a nice man and I want to know you better! Lets try and see if there is chemistry between us :-) I am loving girl,full of life and  positive  emotions!  I have so much to give to my man


Pretty girl, huh?

to make him happy!!!!  In spite of my young age, I am serious and family oriented! I  want  to know you better! Please tell me more about your life, your work, your hobbies! Please don't hesitate to write me back.... hope my photo will remind you about me))))) Wish you a nice day!  

Alona














Yeah, 100% true intentions.  Using a stolen picture doesn't really strike me as being genuine, but that's just me.  And all of her pictures are ripped off from this lovely Irish lass:

http://sosueme.ie/

http://instagram.com/sosueme_ie

https://twitter.com/SoSueMe_ie/media



Letter 2:
Hello my  darling  xxxxxxx! 

Wow!  Great  to get mail from you! That means you are interested in me as  I  am  in  you))))  Thank  you  for  your photos. Wow you are very attractive  and  you are so strong. I like that. I am a bit elder than you are, is this is a problem for you?)))))) For me it is not. That is cool  to  hear you are so successful and you travel around the Europe. It  is  my dream to see the world. Of course I heard about California, you  are lucky. I may come to visit you if we like each other. Yes the situation  here is not the best, but hopefully soon everything will be sorted!!!! 

xxxxxxx,I  am  28 years old. My birthday is on the 5th of April, 1985. I am originally from town Rodakovo in Eastern part of Ukraine! I am very positive  girl!  I am easy - going, friendly! My friends say I am good cook,  love outdoors , visiting theatres, cinemas to watch good movie! But  
 my  biggest  passion is music!!!!!! It gives me positive emotions and  bring  mood for the whole day!Do like it ? What kind of music you love most of all? 

I  work  like  a  radio DJ on the local radio station!! I enjoy my job very  much!!!  But  don't  be  afraid  ,  I  am not very talkative and annoying in every day life )))) 

I  don't  have  no brothers, no sisters. I have two women in my life : they  are  my mum and granny! I love them very much! But I feel that I am  adult  girl  now  and  I  need  to  create my own family!!!!! I am disappointed  with  Ukrainian  guys!  One  my  close  female  met  her boyfriend  from  France and now they are happy! I want to start my new life  somewhere,  I  want to meet decent man with kind heart and smart mind! I want to fall in love and give my heart to him! 

xxxxxxx,  the  one  thing I want to say is that I am not that perfect in English.  I  never  been  taught  it  in college unfortunately! But of course I understand that it is important to know foreign language If I want  to meet man from abroad! So I started English course already and I  am  sure soon I will know enough language to be able to communicate with you without any other help! 

I  hope  it  is  not  a big problem for you ! As love doesn't know any barriers,  right?))))))))Please  write  me  soon!  Send you my photos!
Sweet kisses! 

Your Alona



I have to admit that she has a killer interpreter!  I wonder if they place those goofy Russian smilies in on their own initiative or does the girl point and scream, "SMILIE NOW!!  IS GOOD IS GOOD!!"?  No need to worry though, because this scammer seems to have a decent grasp of English and there is no interpreter of course.

I like to request good ol' Whatsapp from all of these fakes but they never seem to have smartphones.  Which is interesting since I've legitimately chatted with dozens of Ukrainian girls using it.  Oh well.



Letter 3:
Hello dear xxxxxxx !!!! 

Thank  you  very much for your letter! I was waiting for it! Thank you for  your  compliments to me. You are a real gentleman and of course I understand why you don't want to be with girls from your country. I am absolutely  not  money oriented. I am ready to work too to help my man to  support  our family.As for my work , yes it is nice, but the radio is  very  local and small. I just announce some news and put music for people  to  listen, so nothing exciting. If you want to hear  

my voice, you  can  call  me,  the  number  is  +380502658219  . My phone is not android,  so  i  don't have whatsupp. But I would love to chat more of course. Dear it is not so easy to get visa for Ukrainian girl to go to Switzerland, and I never was abroad, so maybe you can come to Ukraine? 

xxxxxxx,I  am  simple  girl,but I try to take good care of my beauty!!!! And  I will always be beautiful and sexy for my man!!!! For him not to lose interest in me and his love! I am very family oriented girl and I am  also  hard working. I like my job and I want to work in the future too  to  help my man to support our family! But my job will never be a priority! And I will spend most of my time with my family , my beloved man!!!)))))) 

I  am  serious  girl  and  I  don't like selfish people. I am single , because  of  many  men  here believe if they are rich they can get any girl and they consider me like a doll. I don't like it! I want to meet simple man with kind heart! 

xxxxxxx,  you know I don't know English, I study it of course. For now I use  the  help  of translator to translate our letters and not to have any  misunderstandings with our words! I pay for it, in spite of it is not  easy  , but I will continue doing that , as I feel it is just the beginning for us!)))))) 

Ok dear I close for now! I send you my warmest kisses and hugs! Please write me soon! 

Alona




Sure, Alona.  You can't speak English but thanks for your phone number.  I'll call you up and listen to you giggle I guess.

I decided to send her the most ridiculous reply I could think of so here it is:



Reply from me:

Hi beautiful Alona!  

You don't have a smartphone like iPhone either? This is unusual for me. Do you need me to help buy one? Let me know If you need anything and just provide me with your bank details (routing number and swift code) and I can make one phone call to my friend at the bank and she can send the money immediately!  

I don't need my wife to work as long as she is focused on helping me attain my goals and offering her support for the family :) It's okay if you want to have a career, but I would like my beautiful wife to travel on business with me as well. We would also have an au pair to help with children because it can be difficult and it will also give you free time to go to hair salon, work out at the gym and things such as this so you can always be beautiful and sexy for me. I'll want your hair and nails to be impeccable as well as your figure. And of course Brazilian waxing because we will spend much of our travels at exotic beach resorts. Your breasts appear to be perfect candidates for implants so I hope you are open to that as well. I believe large breasts are important for a woman. We can discuss things like Labiaplasty at a more appropriate time. Also, let me know if you have any surgical scars or other physical imperfections and I can start contacting the best cosmetic surgeons in California so that they can be taken care of immediately.  

Yes, you will definitely need to focus on your English studies and start working harder Do you need to work at the radio station? It would be much better if you could focus all of your energies toward your English studies. Let me know how much money in US dollars you would need to live comfortably without working and I can set up a monthly direct deposit to your bank account. It would be best if you moved to Western Ukraine since America will probably unleash thermonuclear weapons on Russia near the eastern border of your country very soon.  

If you are aware of any secret or underground anti-Russian guerilla groups I would encourage you to join those as well! Don't worry and stay alert for the presence of Russian Intelligence agents in your area!  

Yours forever,

xxxxxxx




This is normally what I would call my farewell letter because these fake Ukrainian women usually get uppity when you start talking too crazy.  But, not Alona!  She was game for anything, except possibly the Labiaplasty which she didn't comment on, but all things considered she was a real trooper in her reply:





Hello my dear xxxxxxx!!!!  
T
hank you so much for your letter! I could not fall asleep yesterday night, I was waiting for the news from you.I feel so attracted and also this is the first time for me when I have such type of communication and we are becoming closer every day. I hope that it is just the beginning for us dear and we will make all our dreams come true! 

I must say that I feel very strange after reading your letter! I feel both excited and shy. You are so gorgeous, so attentive, so caring. I got used that all my life I achieve all the goals by myself, I never accepted help like that, so I even don't know what to say. Yes like in Ukraine is not that easy. especially now, when there is great economical and political crisis. I like my job of course and frankly speaking I spend most of my time at work. But for now I attend classes 3 times a week, as I want to communicate with you without any help, want to express my thoughts in free way. And I promise you till our meeting I will do my best to study harder)))) 

That is fine if you don't want me to work when we are together, I would be happy to make you a company while your business trips and yes dear It is my dream to see the world. I have never had any surgeries. I thought that my breasts were of normal size, ha-ha)))) But 100% sure, I am ready to make plastic surgery for my man , to make him happy and be proud of me! I will not mind having big breasts. 

xxxxxx, what you say is like a dream for me . I have not expected to hear that you want to help me and you will take care of me while I am focusing on my English and that you will want me to get smart phone.I would be so happy to chat with you dear and to be in closer contact, so I would be so grateful and thankful for your help.I am sorry I feel very shy and uncomfortable to tell you how much I need to live normal life here for you to transfer me those funds.If you want to help me, you can send me any sum , it depends on you only. And I will deeply appreciate any help, as I will know you do it from your heart! xxxxxxx I can give you my bank details. Here they are: 

BENEFICIARY: VLASENKO ALONA 

ACCOUNT: 5168757245673647 

BANK OF BENEFICIARY: PRIVATBANK 

SWIFT CODE: PBANUA2X 

INTERMEDIARY BANK: JP MORGAN CHASE BANK 

SWIFT CODE: CHASUS33 

CORRESPONDENT ACCOUNT: 0011000080 

IBAN: UA303047950005168757245673647 

Hope this information is enough for you dear. If not, let me know!xxxxxxx dear, as for moving to Western Ukraine, I have been thinking about it. Right now it is calm over here, but we will see what will be later. I am so happy you think of me and concern about the situation here. I need to close now, will need to come back at work. Please write me soon, I am thinking of you always.....many kisses....hope you will like the photo  
Your Alona



Now we're talking, baby!  Great big titties on the way!  One unusual thing about this response was that it was sent the same day she received my offer of assistance.  Alona didn't waste a second jumping for the cash and quitting her job.  Not that she has a real job at a radio station.  Her only job is scamming men for money.

After receiving this I just ignored her.  Mission accomplished:



Letter 5:
Hello dear   xxxxxxx!!!!!  

There  is no news from you  for  some time already!  Are   you there?  Or   maybe you lost  your  interest  in me?  I   am  looking   forward for the news from you.   Send you my kisses.....



Thanks babe.  Don't hold your breath on that cash ever showing up in your bank account.  Bye bye my love.

Bye bye *tears streaming down my face*

UPDATE:  Dear sweet Alona is unhappy with this post and replied shortly after I sent her the link. Her English has greatly improved since she had no problem getting her point across. Apparently she had a good reason for sending fake pictures and was just about to explain it when I outed her. Whatever. Here's her message:

What  surprise!You  never was looking for relations,  you are  just a player here.  yes that was not  myphoto.   But  I aready wanted to tell you about that. I  look almost the same. maybe even better.  You even don\t know the reasons why \i did that. I am real person and \i am serious girl, not like you are.  And you forgot  to say that  it was you who suggested  help. I never asked you aout anything,So it  is your prolem, that you have lost me.  It is a pity there are such  stupid people. Be sure your  information  wil also be   in net, like  a baster,scam man!I didnt expect such  from you  \xxxxxxx. I was of  better opinion1!!!!!!!!

No Alona, I was never looking for a relationship with your ugly ass. There's a comment section. Feel free to tell the world your good reason for using fake pictures and lying about your inability to speak English. The anticipation is almost killing me.